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10 Celebrities Who Should Have Died Young
Some people overstay their welcome. Like the house guest thats great for the first few days but eventually drinks all the beer and won’t get off your couch, some celebrities just stick around too long.
Whether they become drunks, failures, criminals, perverts or worst of all; George Lucases (Luci?), later actions ruin their legacy. Below are the top 10 celebrities who could have been remembered fondly, if only they left in the year suggested.
10. Orson Welles: 1942
What he was: The 20-something writer, director, producer and star of “Citizen Kane”.
What he became: An embarrassment, a drunk and punchline.
9. Elvis Presley: 1963
What he was: A dynamic heart-throb who transcended musical genres.
What he became: A pill-popping, Nixon-loving, fat, slurring, impotent pedophile.
8. O.J. Simpson: 1988
What he was: The Juice, Heisman Trophy winner, record-breaking sprinter, 2,000 yard NFL rusher, actor and all-around great guy.
What he became: Abusive husband, killer, liar, author, robber and bail violator. I could have let the first murder slide but he’s really piling it on.
7. Whitney Houston: 1991
What she was: Best selling solo artist, first female solo artist to hit #1, seven consecutive #1 singles. The woman was hip, hot and talented.
What she became: That chick who sings that one song that I hate. Also, she likes the crack.
6. Madonna: 1989
What she was: A young superstar who would crank out constant hits whilst being an unapologetic slut. Possibly the perfect woman.
What she became: A talentless, roided up, baby stealing, British Yoko with an Angelina complex
5. Michael Jackson: 1986
What he was: Musical prodigy, the heart of The Jackson 5, singer, song writer and one hell of a dancer.
What he became: A creepy, white, child molester who makes crappy music and statues of himself. Also, he stared in a video game where the main objective is to “collect” little children.
4. Courtney Love: 1994
What she was: The hot, talented, wife of my generation’s Elvis.
What she became: A drugged up Goldie Hawn from “Death Becomes Her“. Also, Billy Corgan wrote her songs and I’m pretty sure she killed Kurt.
3. Tom Cruise: 1992
What he was: Star of Taps, The Outsiders, Risky Business, Top Gun, The Color of Money, Rain Man and Born on the 4th of July. Amazing.
What he became: A psychology-bashing, closeted, high-heel wearing cultist who hasn’t made a good movie in 16 years. He also sues people a lot, so I’ll stop there.
2. Mel Gibson: 1998
What he was: A fresh-faced Australian star that mixed bad-boy good looks with stunning acting chops.
What he became: Not only crazy, but jew-hating crazy. That’s a big no-no in Hollywood. Plus, he’s not even Australian.
1. Paris Hilton: 1980
What she was: A beautiful little zygote with her whole life ahead of her.
What she became: The personification of everything wrong with America.
Narrowly missing the list; Olsen Twins: 2003, Brit Brit: 2000, Hitler: 1938
Those who knew how to leave em wanting more: JFK, James Dean, Buddy Holly, River Phoenix, Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, Jesus.
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39 Responses to “10 Celebrities Who Should Have Died Young”
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Hitler 1938? He had all sorts of bad things after him at the time. More like Hitler 1918, before he joined NDSAP.
I swear to god if someone says that Mel Gibson is Australian one more time… he ISN’T Australian! He’s AMERICAN. He only LIVED in Australia for a period of time. LEARN. THE. FACTS.
i agree with all of them but i think Mel Gibson is still making good movies.
Jesus didn’t die
“Plus, he’s not even Australian.”
READ. THE. TEXT.
Bravo. I couldn’t agree with you more.
Orson Welles still had an “F for Fake” left in him, so there no way he needed to die. Let them have their punchlines and let him have his alcohol.
Well, Hitler didn’t join NDSAP, he started NSDAP!
Yay for fetus!Paris, thumbs down for psychospoiled!Paris.
Fuck you! Madonna is awesome!
wot are you on?
cruise gibson maddona…u crazy! there awesome.
also u have somethings against the ‘british’ (see madonna)
thank god that its only your opinion, you mad some odd choices, some i agree but some just stupid!!!
Mel lived in Australia for frucking years twatnose
Bob, he must have something against austrians too, as he mentioned Hitler in passing!
dork…
Madonna does not belong in your list.
She was and still is a very talented artist.
I suggest you watch her latest work.
Please adjust the list, because with Madonna in it, you are making fools of yourselves.
alain
You’re dead on, mostly Courtney.
I was searching for \’What Did Galileo Discover Or Invent\’ at google and found your post named \’nnial 2007 – salvatore iaconesi – del.icio.us poetry\’ in search results. Not very relevant result, but still interesting to read.
wot? u crazeh!
also u can t spell goods
but sometimes i play with myselfs!
gud choisez n stuff
playa
“Sara on May 12th, 2008 12:01 pm
Jesus didn’t die”
…because he never existed in the first place!
Others who took off too early:
Stevie Ray Vaughan
John Lennon — Life isn’t fair: John gets waxed but Yoko and Paul are still sucking air
Jim Morrison
Janis Joplin
Jimi Hendrix
Kennie Hubbs
Duane Allman
Buddy Holly
Hank Williams
How about bloggers who should have died young?
Jesus died on the cross and rose on the third day after. Jesus most definitely exists and is still alive.
Well, Hitler didn’t join NDSAP, he started NSDAP!
When Hitler was in the Army his assignment was to infiltrate the NSDAP. During his assignment to find information on their interests in the Government, Hitler became accepting of their views and joined the organization.
I agree that Mel is a bit loopy, but his last two films have actually been rather interesting.
I think r kellys sicko ass should have died instead of aaliyah!!
I also think another one who knew how to leave em wanting more was def bruce lee. he certainly died before his time. and since you listed river pheonix you could also say brandon lee, bruce’s son could be added to that list.
others who would should have died sooner b/c they were awesome at one point but suck now (or sucked later in their lifetime):
hulk hogan, jose canseco, vanilla ice, mc hammer, howard hughes, mike tyson, dennis rodman, chyna, saddam, osama i could go on for a while if i really thought about it
on one other note, oj is a friggin drug addict and dealer too. i know girls who have partied with him in miami and he has a huge rep there for being involved in coke and ex. he is a bigtime scumbag
I think r kellys sicko ass should have died instead of aaliyah!!
I also think another one who knew how to leave em wanting more was def bruce lee. he certainly died before his time. and since you listed river pheonix you could also say brandon lee, bruce’s son could be added to that list.
others who would should have died sooner b/c they were awesome at one point but suck now (or sucked later in their lifetime):
hulk hogan, jose canseco, vanilla ice, mc hammer, howard hughes, mike tyson, dennis rodman, chyna, ike turner, saddam, osama i could go on for a while if i really thought about it
on one other note, oj is a friggin drug addict and dealer too. i know girls who have partied with him in miami and he has a huge rep there for being involved in coke and ex. he is a bigtime scumbag
i’m not agree with all of points. Author should take some poison )
Amanda,
No offense, ma’am, but try going to THIS website: http://www.jesusneverexisted.com/ THEN try making your statements. Oh, and “10 Celebrities—”? You forgot Mick Jagger, Donny Osmond (and Marie?) AND WHERE IS BRITNEY SPEARS?!?!? I LOVED that South Park episode “Britney’s New Look.”
Oh, and Amanda, this one’s for you:
“That Undead rebel rabbi
Who’s really his own dad
Loves my ass so much
He’s just gotta treat me bad;
Maybe he will save me
And maybe he will not
Then he’ll roast me up forever
In his big melting pot”
“Oh, Jesus, Please Stop Loving Me So Much”
by Terrible Tommy Murray
copyright 2007 Black Celtic Productions
Tommy,
I don’t need to go to that website. Try reading the Holy Bible. I will pray for you.
JFK was not one of the greatest presidents of our time. In fact, the only reason we remember his as such a great president is because he was ‘assassinated’ (If you watch a video clip of the assassination, Lee Harvey Oswald could not have shot the two bullets at such extreme angles within seconds of each other, and the official reports ends with ‘Oswald acted alone’) So yeah, look it up, he didnt do that much while he was in office.
You forgot Brigitte Bardot…she should have died in 1972 before becoming a racist pet lover full of wrinkles.
Staying French, the same for Alain Delon (1986) ! Once easily the handsomest man in movies, now an unfunny and rude old fart.
What about Tony Curtis ? Charlton Heston ?
Amanda, for Christ’s sake! The “Holy” Bible as you so put it has been changed and generally shat upon by so many evil people (historical fact, by the way, I’m not talking out of my arse) in power that it has become nothing but a fable with a moral. Christianity after it’s first 300 years of pacifism and honestly following Jesus’ teachings, took a turn for the worse as more people started adding their own opinion into the Bible, Just Wars became popular; lest we not forget the Crusades and how damn “holy” that was.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s perfectly fine for whoever to believe whatever they want, and I have no right to stop you from following the Bible and the Church but they have been twisted and torn apart by third party editing; people who knew they could convince history’s public by saying “God told me to”. At least step out of the box you were probably raised in as a child, take some time to question things in organised religion and don’t follow your corrupted shephards into the valley of death because no matter their original “good” intentions, they’ll be walking out with some sweet lamb stew.
Jesus was a guy who thought things out and gave a big “fuck you” to Judaism, the Christianity of his day and that’s why he was remembered. For FREE THINKING. He said to follow [God] in your own way and what happened? He got crucified, some douchebags started to change his story as time went by (think Animal Farm) and he ended up being the figurehead of the exact thing people were following him for rebelling against.
But back to the subject that’s almost at hand, Jesus did die. If it was a conspiracy or he was resurrected by The Almighty Himself; the dude was physically a corpse for at least 3 days and for the last 2000 years people have remembered him, maybe not for what he stood for, but remembered him nonetheless; and with spending God knows how long pretty much dominating the world’s religions as a prophet or a saviour, I think that classifies him as a celebrity.
As for Tommy Two-Tone: read some damn history books instead of some shoddy excuse of a website. Most historians will agree that Jesus, at one point, on the human plane of existence, existed. Like Muhammed was at least a famous warrior and Moses went about all Splinter Cell, taking out Egyptians who dare enslave his people.
All in all, good list
Just throwing this out there, buut isn’t that a picture of nikki hilton not paris hilton?
Wait… Elvis was a pedophile because (as it links to that picture) he married a 21 year old woman (who was days from turning 22)?
kurt cobain was not the elvis of the 90s….
pretty damn good, but no elvis
alan, no one cares what Madonna’s publicist has to say about this. she should have died years ago. to everyone else who had a prob with the list, get over it. the list is prefect. get a life and get your nose out of the asses of washed-up former superstars.
fuck you~~~michael jackson is awsome~~~all his news is lie…people used his fame to make money…and why didn’t you say michael jackson helped a plenty children? he dona many many and many。。。especialy to children。。。
calling courtney love a killer means your a misogynist.it is an ignorant claim, and in my oppinion a red flag for someone who shits on revolutionaries. if she killed kurt cobain she would be in jail right now. the court doesnt make special pardons for junkies you dumb fuck.
Michael Jackson died today… are you all happy now?
That is so rude! You should take Michael Jackson off this list! He did NOT touch or do anything like that to those kids! He is a truthful person and would never do something like that! He just died and they had the memorial and his daughter said he was the best daddy ayone could ever have!! And i and many other people believe and know its true. So if you have just a little heart you will take that down!!! Do you know how many people he inspired and let their dreams come true! If it weren’t for him black people may not be on tv like him or singers we have now we might not have them if it wasnt for him! He broke the color barrier on a lot of things. He changed music all over the world for the good I and many, many of millions of people love and respect him. PlEASE take this down it is very disrespectful!!!! -Fionnula
age 13